Don’t Let Someone Else Take Ownership of Your Craft
Meditations on Moldavite, gatekeeping, and limiting the growth of those around you
Earlier this year, I had a sizeable falling out with a friend. In hindsight, it was for the best. As time has passed, I’ve been reflecting on how constricted I was in that relationship. There were a few occasions where I felt like I was not met where I was, where my consent was pushed, and my growth was limited. Spoiler alert: these are not sustainable traits in a relationship. They are not even good traits to have in a relationship.
Since the friend break up, I’ve been growing a lot. My confidence has been shaken, and my mental health has not been in the best place, but growth has been happening in my life. Lately, one thing I’ve been hyper aware of is all of the magical tools, allies, and interests that I felt were kept from me because I was friends with this person. There are some people who just make it feel like they have ownership over certain things. And that list starts to become longer, and longer. I keep thinking of Gretchen Weiners in Mean Girls, tearfully saying that she wasn’t allowed to wear hoop earrings because Regina George demanded that hoops were her thing. There’s no real room for growth or even to breathe because maybe if you like something too much, the friend will get upset. As someone who has never felt particularly highly of themselves and has a tendency to put others’ comfort and happiness before their own, it’s a slippery slope.
No one person has ownership over anything. This kind of idea is really rooted in colonization and a sense of entitlement. Colonization and entitlement really don’t have a place in witchcraft or magical thinking. As soon as you believe that you are owed something, or that you are entitled to something, there’s an energetic shift. It calls into question the true intentions of your magical practice.
Let’s talk about Moldavite. This is the one thing I’ve been meditating on a lot lately, reflecting heavily on its existence and its uses. In the above image, I am holding a bottle of the Move-Along Moldavite essence from HausWitch. It is one of my favourite essences, and a crystal that makes me think of my partner, Simon. When I bought this particular bottle, I was with the ex-friend, and they once again questioned if I was sure about Moldavite (this question had come up a few times). They explained that it’s such chaotic energy and it’s hard to work with. I felt kind of weird about being questioned in this regard. Especially when this person spouted the idea of intuition and trusting one’s intuition. Move-Along Moldavite helped me navigate my grief when my Dad died, why wouldn’t it help me during this time of heart grief tied to my mental illness? For a long time, I kept questioning my choices, but I also kept using the Moldavite essence. Sure, cosmic alien space energy isn’t for everyone, but Moldavite clicks with a neurodivergent artist like me.
The thing about any crystal or herb in magic is that it doesn’t really matter why it works for an individual. Same with any kind of healing or divination or school of thought. As long as the user is safe and knowledgeable, it doesn’t really matter. In chaos magick, there’s the idea that if it works, awesome! Keep doing it and don’t question why the magick works. With Moldavite, it’s kind of funny. Someone who was keeping me at a certain level was trying to talk me out of an interstellar ally that can help one transform and level up. It’s not unlike all of these “leaders” in witchcraft who spout ideas around karmic consequences and the Rule of Three. These are just rules created by someone else in order to keep us from realizing our true potential. Think about it- people have far more to gain when you don’t know how powerful you really are. It’s all tied to forms of gatekeeping. Most people gatekeep because they can make money off of the answers and the information. It’s not the same as having a closed practice. Gatekeeping is designed to have people returning to the charismatic leader, because surely if someone has the knowledge to keep information from us, they must be even more knowledgeable that we could imagine.
Uhmm… No. Maybe not. After all, no one human has all of the information. And if they do, they’re not the only one with the information. They certainly can’t decide what’s best for you. Don’t let anyone convince you that they know better, unless there’s absolute proof that they do, especially when it comes to the magical and metaphysical. As soon as you let others dictate how something should be in your practic, you inhibit your own growth and you remove a level of autonomy from yourself. You deserve better than that. You’re not a plant to be formed into a specific shape. You’re not meant to be twisted and contorted by the hands of another. You’re meant to live a life of self-discovery and exploration. Safely, of course, not a life without consequence and hiccups. Those difficulties are part of the experience. Anyone who tells you that you can live without challenges, or tries to suggest that you are manifesting your difficulties, will never have your best interest in mind.
So try that crystal. Try that herb. Try the weirdo magic. Why not. If you are safe and understand the potential consequences… who cares! Other people cannot decide what may or may not have consequences. And if you can’t explore and experiment with the magical… what’s the point? Magical practices are so deeply personal, and there is so much to be learned by experiencing everything you can, learning from multiple sources, and also trusting your own intuition when researching.
You’re in the driver’s seat. Don’t let anyone doubt the choices you make.
